How do you feel about the food they serve on planes? This episode may change your view. Coming up, the day United tried to kill me, a report from London's busiest chunk of tarmac, Heathrow Airport, and a brilliant travel app that keeps you updated with the best of the best flight deals. I'm Andrew Lock, and this is the show that shares the secrets to smarter travel.

Hello and welcome to the show. Travelers beware! As you know, you can buy anything on Amazon these days, including luggage. Turns out, however, some things might be best browsed in person. A few days ago, I went online and ordered this suitcase and I was sent, this. What am I supposed to do with this pack? One sock? I know airlines are strict with carry on sizes, but this is ridiculous. Maybe it's designed for clothing optional vacations, if you know what I mean. You'd be lucky to get one traveler sized sunblock in there, let alone clothes. But I guess you would definitely need it if you didn't have clothes.

Now, then more warnings for you. Many of us saw the absolutely terrifying footage of the United Airlines engine failure. Fortunately, no one was hurt. But it reminded me about the time United Airlines tried to kill me. This time it was personal. Just to give you a bit of background, I'm gluten and dairy free, not by choice, but because when I eat those things, my body acts like I've given it a barbed wire sandwich topped off with a Chernobyl cheesecake.

Yes, gluten is my worst nightmare. Well, either that or discovering this gentlemen is my seatmate for the next nine hours. According to the scientists who study this stuff, up to half the population are now sensitive to one or more of the top 5 problem foods, which are wheat a.k.a. gluten, milk, soy, eggs, and peanuts. The other half of the population are allergic to spam, and/or the Kardashians. Now, not to brag, but I check two of those boxes, wheat and milk. And on a recent United flight, they were handing every passenger the perfect storm for sensitive souls, one of these. No, it's not a French fried Frisbee. It's something called a Stroopwaffle, not to be confused with the World War to Nazi Air Force, Luftvaffe. But like the German Air Force, it was trying to kill me.

StroopWaffle originates in Holland, famous for inventing many amazing marvels, including the microscope, the stock market and, of course, clogs. And while I admit that the Dutch are usually really good at inventing in this case, they've designed the perfect poison. Stroop-waffle looks great on the outside, but on the inside it's a bit like my first girlfriend, potentially lethal. Let's call her Jane - because it's her name. First, you're dancing to Careless Whisper at the school disco. And before you know it, she's ripped out your heart, used it as a boot scraper and absconded with Gary from the football team who whihsked her off into the sunset in his turquoise Ford Fiesta - with garage door to match, apparently.

OK, so maybe I was a bit wimpy looking back then. So puny, in fact, that they had to give me steroids - and that was just to be on the chess team. Still, I'm not one to dwell. I'm over it. All right. Enough about Jane and Gary. Let's get back to the Danish desert that apparently is going for the Guinness World Record for gluten. Here's the thing. The main ingredients of a stroop-waffle are wheat, milk, soy, and eggs.

Sound familiar? To someone with a food allergy, that's like reading death, destruction, annihilation and obliteration. If they just added peanuts, stroop-waffle would become an allergic Armageddon, and probably be banned by the Geneva Convention. It's a bit like asking Hannibal Lecter to lunch and letting him pick the place. Now, admittedly, I don't have an English to Dutch dictionary, but if I had to guess, I'd say that Stroop is probably the Dutch word for death. So it's actually the Dutch death waffle.

Maybe those sneaky Dutch are trying to head off lawsuits by putting it in the title. I'm on to you Holland people with your Dutch death waffle. Come to think of it, it also sounds a lot like an 80s hair metal band.

"Death waffle... why you tryna kill me with your sweet fluffiness?"

I don't know that guy. Look, I understand what United is doing here. The stroop-waffle is basically a comfort food to relax people in these nervous and stressful times. But why stop at stroop-waffles? They could add some real comfort food to relax passengers - zucchini roasted in Xanax, vermicelli ala Valium, or the ultimate tranquilizing snack, honey roasted almonds coated with Ativan. Look, I don't expect airlines to cater to the minority, but food allergies are no longer rare.

Surely United could come up with an alternative snack that doesn't contain wheat, milk, soy, and eggs, not to mention passengers that are on LSD - no, not that LSD, a low sodium diet. United loves to make a song and a dance about how diverse and inclusive they are, but they can't even handle travelers who are lactose intolerant! Interestingly, in response to United's announcement that they're bringing back stroop-waffles, the responses on Twitter have been overwhelming, an avalanche of reasons why some people don't want them.

One person commented, "How about some sugar free snacks for diabetes challenged customers?" Fair point, 10 percent of the US suffers from diabetes. That's 10 percent! I personally find that shocking. Thought the figure would be closer to 90 percent. Frank was equally appalled. He couldn't even bring himself to refer to the powerful as a snack, he said, "Really? That bit of sugar laden carbohydrate. This is terrible news. The seeds keep getting smaller, people keep getting fatter, and stroop-waffle isn't helping the situation. How do you deal with the tooth decay?"

Frank has a point. Although he seems conflicted about whether the real issue is the sugar, the smaller, the fatter people, the tooth decay, or the dental bills. Then there's Ellen, who let's just say, has an axe to grind about palm oil. She responds to United with, "I hope you are looking for snacks that do not contain palm oil. The destruction of those trees is endangering many, many species of animals that depend on them. Surely there are lots of other ways to make snacks that don't include palm oil?"

Really?! Ellen, just a heads up. If you're really environmentally conscious, you might want to consider the fact that the plane you're on is literally burning a gallon of fuel a second. The survival of palm trees should be the least of your worries.

Well, we've learned that stroop-wafflessugar-free offend food intolerance and allergy sufferers, diabetics, people who eat sugar free dentists, PETA, and the palm tree protectors.

So how do we resolve this? Well, United doesn't pay me as a consultant, but I've done the research for them. A quick Google search for "tasty snacks that won't kill you," and I discovered Swaffle.

Ooh, I see what you did there. Even the name has a small carbon footprint. Though not enough to offset Ellen's fuel usage, the swaffle prides itself on being made from natural ingredients - free from all the nasties, as well as all the major allergens. Hooray for swaffle! I shall be packing swaffles for my next trip. Wait a minute, this suitcase is the perfect size to keep a stash of swaffles. Problem solved. As you can tell, I really like saying swaffle. The real issue here is that airlines need to listen to what the market wants.

Guests are literally demanding alternatives to food that implodes their bodies cell by cell. United aretone-deaf apparently tone deaf to these requests, and it seems like whenever the topic of food allergies is brought up, they're prone to, let's just say swaffle. Kudos to Delta, who already offer snacks with both gluten free and vegan options, because they understand that a lot of passengers prefer that - compared with writhing in unbearable agony, similar to the pain felt by Justin Bieber's neighbors.

Even Disney, whose theme parks are filled with overpriced candy and obesity, know that a lot of guesgluten-freets want gluten free options. So much so they opened a bakery at Disney World where everything is gluten free, even the floor tiles. That's Disney for you. There's money to be made, so they figured out a way to charge you more for bread without the bread. Now they just need to work on getting the duck to put some pants on. Finally, for United, I have a simple health request... please stop the waffle, and ditch the Dutch death waffle.

This segment was brought to you by Swaffle. I'm just kidding. They're not sponsors, but I am open to receiving a lifetime supply if you're watching. And now here's Gabriella with a review of an app that gives you the best of the best flight deals.

If you're the type of person who has a lot of flexibility to travel when you want to, the people behind this tool research and share only the very best flight deals, and you'll be amazed at how good some of these deals are. Some of the offers they show are either mistake fares or from airline flash sales. The app is available both for Android and Apple devices, and it's very easy to use. You can browse any of the regions shown. So for this example, let's choose USA and at the top we can see a couple of flight deals.

Isn't that an amazing price? And it's direct too. Now, because these guys only show the very best deals, you're never going to get swamped in this app. Personally, I think it's really fun to see what's available, especially when you have the flexibility to jump on a plane at short notice. You can also set up custom notifications based on your nearest departure airports if you want to, which is just a nice extra touch to this app. So it's a big thumbs up from me.

All right, Andrew, it's back to you.

If you're enjoying this episode so far, please consider becoming a subscriber so you can continue to enjoy all the fun. And also, I encourage you to visit TravelProShow.com, where you can read the latest articles and grab the nifty free guide, seven top travel hacks to save you money on your next flight. It's the ultimate blueprint for getting the best deal every time - even if I do say so myself. By the way, we greatly appreciate it when you share this show with your travel pro friends. Thank you very much for doing that. And I'm sure they will. Thank you too.

England's busiest airport is, of course, London Heathrow. As well as being home to British Airways, it's a key European hub for many international airlines. I visited Heathrow to see the impact that it's been having on travel and how they're adjusting to this new normal.

Heathrow Airport is usually one of the world's busiest, but with passenger numbers down 88 percent, it feels more like a ghost town right now. All flights have been consolidated to use just two of the five terminals: Terminal five for British Airways and Terminal two for everyone else, because, well, B.A. doesn't play nicely with all the other kids.

"You can stay in your own terminal until you can learn how to get along."

The biggest issue for arriving passengers is that immigration officers are completely overwhelmed. Passengers have been waiting in line more than four hours to be processed, prompting headlines like "Bedlam at the Borders" and "Mutiny at Heathrow."

Having experienced it myself, maybe I can throw in a few headlines of my own.... "Turmoil in the terminal", "Havoc at Heathrow," and 'Anarchy on Arrival"high-risk all seem appropriate considering the circumstances.

Adding to the complication, passengers who are arriving from more than 30 high risk countries, are being taken directly into a 10 day mandatory quarantine. What's worse is the passenger is being handed the hotel bill, and I think they must have put Bernie Madoff in charge of the finances, because the 10 day stay in a three star Sheraton or equivalent, somehow comes out to seventeen hundred and fifty pounds per person. That's about two and a half thousand dollars or 10000 for a family of four! Now, that is what I call an expensive trip.

The good news for departing passengers is that the airport now has multiple covid testing centers. And although you do need to book an appointment in advance, it's a fast and efficient service, and the prices are reasonable. Inside the airport, there's plenty of measures in place to keep it clean. And that's really good to see. hygieneIn a press release, airport management said that they're employing 100 hygene technicians, a.k.a. cleaners, as well as using UV cleaning robots, hand sanitizing stations at entry points, and one thing that I haven't seen anywhere else are the antiviral technologies used on the lift buttons or elevators, as our American friends would say. Here at Terminal five, the home of British Airways, sadly, they've had to cut 12000 jobs., and it certainly feels very different from the pre covid days, there's sort of a somber mood in the air.

On the positive side of things, I always try to look at the positive, Cafe Nero, the lone coffee shop in thcheck-ine check in area has reopened that last, so at least I could get a caffeine fix. In fact, I think I'll head there now.

Let me tell you about Founder's Card, the best tool for savvy travelers with a modest annual fee. Founders' card members get discounts with airlines like Emirates, American United BA Singapore and Cathay Pacific, as well as with hotel chains like Marriott and Hilton, plus car rental companies like Hertz, Avis and Sixt. So as an example, with Hilton, not only do you get discounts on every booking, you get instant gold status without having to meet any of the normal state requirements.

That means you can get a free room upgrade, free breakfast free, late checkout free high speed Wi-Fi access, and an additional twenty five percent bonus points. Not too shabby, right? There's hundreds of discounts and perks to choose from. There's also member networking events. You get a sleek metal membership card to flash in front of your friends, I mean, who wouldn't want that? And as a member myself, I love it. Again, head toTheFoundersCard.com, where you can get a lot more perks and discounts when you travel.

Well, we'd love to hear your opinion and feedback about any aspect of the show below, including your experiences with covid testing for travel. For more travel tips and inspiration, check out "The Endless Adventure," one of our favorite YouTube channels for travel. It's run by a lovely couple, Eric and Alison, and I really like how their videos are so down to earth. Plus, they always seem to have a happy, positive outlook on life. I think you'll really enjoy watching their endless travel adventures.

Also, check out the excellent website MonkyMiles.Com. It's run by the larger than Life Hollywood actor Zach Abel, who shares lots of great travel hacks. Zach also has a huge following on tik-tok. So if you're there, be sure to check him out under the username Zacharyburrabel. On Instagram. Check out @DanielKordan. He's a landscape photographer originally from Russia, who seems to like photographing remote places. His images are stunning and they're sure to inspire you to want to see more of the world.

We'll put links to all of those resources below for you and join us again next week when I'll be explaining the different types of covid tests. Hopefully put an end to all the confusion. I'll be visiting the world's most jaw dropping Starbucks. We'll show you an app to help you choose the best seat on every flight, and we'll reveal some advanced packing secrets that I promise you've never seen before.

And finally, here's a lost in translation sign from my travels. This one's from a restaurant in China where apparently they don't have just male and female restrooms, they also offer the "deformed man toilet." Something's definitely lost in translation there. Please continue to check out our other videos and we'll see you on the next episode!

"Death Waffle! Why you tryna kill me with your sweet fluffiness?!"